Welcome back to A Slut’s Guide to Happiness, where your body is perfectly imperfect and it’s safe to be as sexual, kinky, queer, or slutty as you want. 

Today we’re joined again by Foxie, who is a community leader, a director, and a source of beautiful care for so many people at Cliff Media. Our LGBTQ led, organizing driven porn production company. 

Foxie is also now the treasurer of a new organization, Clif University of Nontraditional Slutology, also known as CUNTS. You can come learn from our CUNTS. According to the federal government, we are a 503 nonprofit, Clif University for short. 

We have the same values and themes as Clif Media, but we organize SafeForWork community education, including trainings online and in-person masterclasses. There are podcasts and blogs that accompany it. And we will be hosting many opportunities that you will soon be able to join in 2025. I look forward to the growing community that comes out of that work that Foxie is helping to lead. 

Today, we will be talking about a topic that is both sexy and medical and deeply psychological. So we’ll be looking at it from multiple angles. And we’re talking about squirting, a fluid released by some bodies with a vulva.

A lot of people have strong feelings about it. Strong feelings on all kinds of sides.

My body squirts a lot and I put out a lot of porn content for a long time. Reddit is the biggest cesspool of anonymous troll content where people tend to say whatever they want without repercussions. So the vast majority of comments on squirt say, wow, that’s hot. And there’s always that one person that’s like, “Stop pissing in the bed.” 

And that one, I just ignore the haters. If you are not in the arena with your sweat and blood and tears fighting the good fight, then I do not need your feedback – to paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt. 

But the vast majority of comments on pictures and videos, and comments made during in-person interactions, have been extremely positive about squirting. That’s not something that I initially expected. 

Not all bodies with a vulva squirt, but for people that do, it can bring up a lot of emotions. I didn’t feel comfortable squirting for most of my sexual life, actually, until I started camming where people were requesting it and I was confused. Why are people requesting doing this thing that I had thought was gross?

That helped me learn, as I did it in camming and porn, and then started doing it in my personal life. Even squirting while someone is down on me and it goes all over their face. And I ask, are you sure you want this? And they say “yes, give it to me”. That consistently helped affirm me, even though I knew, okay, on an intellectual level, this is just my body doing what it does. 

I’m still having to move through that process even after 5 years. I had that experience just last week. That helped me really realize that undoing shame and discomfort around squirting is such an ongoing process at the end of a four day LGBTQ shoot week where we did 20 back-to-back scenes of trainings and orgies. 

There was a lot of incredible queer leadership. By the end, I was exhausted. So the last day, because I was so tired, I was really uninhibited. That day I squirted more than I have in a very long time, simply because I wasn’t trying to hold it in. My body went to doing what it naturally would do. It reminded me that there are still ways that society lives inside me and prevents me from having the full orgasm experience that feels best for me.

So, as I’ve seen many times in porn productions, Foxie is a prolific squirter as well, so she knows the subject inside and out, both from research that she will share with us and from personal experience. 

Foxie, thank you so much for joining us.

Foxie: 

I’m so happy to be here and talking about one of my favorite subjects.

Vanessa: 

I love this. When we initially were talking about this subject, someone was like, is this topic really a full podcast? And immediately Foxie said, absolutely. You may not realize that, but woof, there’s a lot. I want to start with your first experience squirting. So let’s set the scene.

Foxie: 

I was married at the time. I was pregnant, and I lived in Florida. It was an afternoon. I was with my husband, and we were getting hot and heavy. In the middle of having sex, the position that I was in was reverse cowgirl, which means he was sitting on the edge of the couch, and I was sitting on top of him, facing away from him. 

I didn’t feel anything but all of a sudden, a clear stream of liquid shot from this area, like 3 or 4 feet away onto the carpet. I immediately was like, what is this? What did I just do? 

I get up off of his lap. I’m like getting on the carpet, smelling it like, is that pee? Of course, that’s always the first question: is that pee? Because that’s what we do most of the time from that area. And I was smelling the carpet and I was like, oh, that doesn’t really smell like pee. And from that moment on, I continued squirting all the time.

My husband loved it. He thought it was the best. The wetter, the better. I remember one time we were in the back of the car. We had a plastic thing in the back, but it was filled. There was so much liquid.

Vanessa: 

What do you think it was that made your husband immediately into it? 

Foxie: 

It was proof that he made me feel good. My body was reacting to him in such a way that it was almost like a male orgasm. Of course, that’s his perspective. For him, it was proof that I’m good at this. 

Vanessa: 

I get that. Even though I value when people are interacting sexually in all kinds of ways and male ejaculation is not the end all be all, sometimes when that happens there’s a sense of feeling good that this person was responding positively to my body. So there is something similar when you’re squirting. When a person with a vulva is squirting, it’s kind of the same affirmation in the sexual interaction. 

Foxie: 

Exactly. Plus it was a great affirmation that I am so turned on that my body. 

Vanessa: 

It was affirming for you to. In the previous podcast we talked about your “Slut Mentor”. You’ve done a lot of orgies with Clift Media and slutty life. So I’m wondering about the range of interactions you’ve experienced. Your husband was amazing. 

Have you had different kinds of interaction related to squirting throughout your slutty experience?

It’s been mostly great. The only negative interactions that I’ve had have been dates on the internet. It’s something that I’m very open about because I know there are people that don’t like it. I always lead with it if we’re going to become intimate. “I need you to know that I squirt. Is this something that’s okay with you?”

I’ve had maybe one or two people who said, no, that’s not for me. But most people are like, “Oh my God, I love it. Do it all over my face. Do it like all over my body. I love it.”

Vanessa: 

Yeah, that’s a good point that there are some people who love it all over their body, but maybe not on their face or vice versa.

It’s amazing that you’re having that conversation. You’re inviting people into consent, even though I don’t know if you necessarily need to from an ethical perspective because it’s just what your body does. But you’re kind of preempting those conversations in the middle of sex.

Foxie: 

I know when I did it the first time, everything kind of stopped. So if you’re not expecting that and it’s a surprise, then sometimes you can be taken out of the moment. But if you’re expecting that, then you’re into the enjoyment of it. 

Vanessa: 

Yeah, that’s for sure. Okay, so we got to dive into science for a moment because there’s that old age-old debate. There’s even songs about it out there. There’s a song where the chorus is, “Squirt is not pee.” Look it up, it’s funny. 

All right, but let’s dive into that age-old debate: Is squirt pee. And if not, what is it? 

Foxie: 

Okay, first of all, let’s say that I’m not a doctor, nor am I a medical researcher. So what I say is just going to be stuff that I read and fitting it into my own experience. But, if you look on Wikipedia, there is a very nice article on Wikipedia about female ejaculation. 

There are three different ways that we expel liquid from our vaginal area. So first, pee obviously comes from your bladder right to your urethra. This is something we do every day, several times a day. So this is what we’re most familiar with.

The second thing that people are also familiar with is kind of a white viscous fluid. That is for, at least in my opinion, lubrication, to make sure that the penis is sliding in nicely and everybody is feeling good.

Then the third type is what people call squirt. I’m going to read this description: it’s “an expulsion of fluid from the skene’s gland”. I’ll talk about the Skene’s gland in just a second. It’s at the lower end of the urethra, and it’s basically just a big expulsion of liquid. That happens during stimulation or orgasm. 

Vanessa: 

What is it made of? 

Foxie: 

It seems, even among researchers, nobody can agree on what exactly it is. The reason for that is because it’s messy down there when all of this stuff is happening at the same time. It’s really hard to parse out what liquid comes from where. That’s the first difficulty. 

The second difficulty is that nobody can agree on terminology and the research methodology, how people study this and the reproducibility of the research. So there’s no consensus. Every single article I read said something different. It is a huge debate, something that people don’t really know for sure. 

What they’ve been able to suss out for far is that squirt has a prostate-specific antigen, which is the same type of liquid that comes out of the prostate like for males. It is also the same composition as semen, which is very interesting. 

It also contains fructose. I have had many people say that my squirt is sweet. I’ve heard that many times. It also contains uric acid, urea and creatinine. I’m not sure exactly what those things are. 

So basically, it seems like everybody can agree that squirt is made of a little bit of urine, which may or may not come from the bladder, but it’s not the same thing. It’s not just pure pee. It gets into Skene’s gland somehow and is expelled from that area. 

Let’s look at this picture for a second. Right here, this flowery looking thing right here. It says here is the paraurethral glands aka the Skene’s gland. This is right next to the urethra. It’s wrapped around the urethra. All these branches wrap around it. 

It’s hard to separate if there’s anything sitting in your urethra that will come out with the other fluids. But I think the consensus is that it’s not the same as pee. 

Yeah. And this picture is great. I love it because a lot of articles said that the Skene’s gland can swell up when you’re turned on and when you’re stimulated in that area that they swell up almost like grapes. They look kind of like grapes. Then when your body decides to expel that fluid, it just all comes up. 

Vanessa: 

I don’t know if this is something that you saw in the research but for people who squirt, when we’re trying to hold it in, like when I was feeling ashamed and didn’t want to squirt, does that mean the Skene’s gland w were still growing, but I just wasn’t releasing it? 

Foxie: 

Yeah, I think so. That was not something that was discussed in any of the research that I saw. But to me that makes sense. Just like you can hold back peeing a little bit, like you can’t do it forever. But like you can keep that kind of secure for a moment. But if you’re not thinking about it just comes right out. 

Vanessa: 

Honestly, I’m not surprised that there’s a lack of consensus and deeper research because we know that there’s a sexist bias in the way that we fund and focus on research. 

But I am seeing a kind of parallel in the same way that male ejaculate comes out of the penis it’s the same anatomy that is releasing urine. 

Foxie: 

Right, squirting is the same kind of chemical composition as male ejaculation. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s very close. Some people believe that it has an antibacterial function. Some people just throw up their hands. They’re like, we don’t know what it’s for. 

Vanessa: 

I think another thing that I’m experiencing here is this research concludes it’s very clear that it’s not pee. That it is a composition potentially similar to semen that is coming out for the Skene’s Glands around the urethra, but not directly through the bladder. Those things really help. 

Another thing more on a social level that I want to ask you is if it were pee or if it contained at least some component of pee, how does that impact the sexual dynamics? 

Foxie: 

That depends on the person. Absolutely. I consider it not pee. So it’s like, it doesn’t matter to me. But if you have an aversion to pee, which most people do, they don’t want somebody peeing all over them, just know that it’s a very small amount of pee and or urine. 

So if you’re not squeamish about that kind of stuff and you don’t and you don’t mind being messy, then this is for you.

Vanessa: 

The other thing that I love that you were describing is that the arousal and the growth of the Skene’s gland is not something that people with vulvas are choosing to do. That’s the body’s reaction to arousal. 

Foxie: 

Yeah. For some people, this is our natural state. I don’t I don’t think everyone does it. I mean, I think it’s like maybe 6% of women.

Vanessa: 

Oh, really? 

Foxie: 

Okay. Around that number, that’s not an exact number, but around 6% of women do. 

The volume is a lot more than what a man usually would ejaculate. I think it all has to do with pleasure. And there’s been a long history of women’s pleasure being demonized or totally ignored. 

Most of the historical research that I did, it was not hard to find quotes of people that just say that’s gross and weird and you shouldn’t do it. Or people that were like, that doesn’t exist. Even female feminists that were like, “That’s just a male fantasy.”

It’s just a long history of women not being believed. Our voices about what’s happening with our bodies don’t matter. 

If it’s about female pleasure and it’s about the way my body feels when it’s turned on, that’s really hard to do in a clinical setting, led by people who don’t care about your pleasure. They just care about the fluid coming out of you. Or they only care about measurements. And that has nothing to do with sex. You know what I mean? 

Vanessa: 

Yeah. Being in a medical facility doesn’t typically turn me on.

Foxie: 

Yeah, exactly. This is why it’s hard to study. There’s so many reasons why it’s hard to study. 

That’s why I love this community so much because the amount of safety and the amount of comfort that you feel being around people that validate you and believe you and see you, see you doing it and see how it affects you emotionally. That is way more valuable than any clinical study.

Vanessa: 

I wonder if that 6% estimate is actually higher. I imagine that’s people self-reporting. I’ve had experiences, for example, I was with a woman, a person with a vulva, and they were getting really into it. They were a little scared, I was like, yes, yes, do it, and it was the first time that they had squirted. I wonder if there wasn’t someone that was there affirming them, would they realize that their body can do that? 

Foxie: 

Yeah, if you had somebody there that was like, “You’re gross, don’t do that.” or “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.” Would you want to do it again?

Vanessa: 

No, no. It’d be so attached to shame. 

Foxie: 

Yeah. I know, for me, when I was younger, because I was raised in a religious cult, I was so disconnected from my body. I was completely disconnected from my body. It didn’t even feel good when somebody touched my clitoris, because I just could feel like my brain was not connected.

So when I first had sex, any sort of wetness I thought was gross and weird, and my partner also said, that’s gross and weird. So sex for me, for the first five years of my sexual life, was painful. Because if you don’t have natural lubrication, sliding in is not pleasant. 

I didn’t know what my body was doing so I didn’t allow my body to just do what it does because I was so concerned about what it should be doing. 

Vanessa: 

Yeah, I think in a lot of mainstream sexual culture, even in a lot of mainstream porn, the focus is not on what makes the female body feel good. Sometimes that includes foreplay or that includes doing oral first before you go to penetration. So I think that is a really critical concept that you’re describing. 

The other thing that I’ve heard is this kind of narrative that, oh, in porn, people are performing sexy “stunts”. I experience the same thing that you were describing with your ex-husband, something that my partner and I really enjoy totally off camera. 

I know you’re in porn now, you’re a sexy porn star, and you squirt on camera. But you have experienced this a lot in your personal life long before you get into porn, right? 

Foxie: 

Yeah, absolutely. I’ve had two husbands. It wasn’t until my second husband that I felt completely comfortable just being in my body. That was after I had gotten out of religion and started really doing some work on knowing myself and experiencing things for what they are and not putting any sort of judgment on it.

So the first time I was able to relax and have an amazing sexual experience was with my second husband. He helped me and validated all of the things that I had been trying to tamp down or ignore about my body. Because at that point, even though I was almost 30, I was still exploring all of that. 

When that first experience with squirt happened and he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or weird about it, I just let my body do what it was going to do, and it does it all the time now. 

Vanessa: 

It’s just part of your sexual pleasure.

Foxie: 

Yeah, exactly. It feels good. It feels so good. For me, it’s a pushing kind of feeling, but it’s like not pushing. It’s like clamping, when all your muscles are clamping down and you want to stay here. All of that motion just gets me to gush and squirt from everywhere. 

You have ducts on either side of your urethra, so you have your urethral opening on and on both sides of it, to the left and right are these little glands. And you can actually see them. So the gland, that’s where all the liquid comes from. When that area is stimulated for me, holy cow. 

Vanessa: 

Literal kind of stimulation or around that area is for you the sex act that most stimulates squirting. 

Foxie: 

Yeah. 

Vanessa: 

When someone is penetrating you, it’s less likely to cause squirting than when someone is touching you?

Foxie: 

That is actually true. And it’s really hard for me to actually squirt during penetration. After they pull out, then it just sprays. 

I’ve had some women say that they think that comes from the vagina and penis havers that have experienced that feel like it comes from the vagina.

So I’m not sure. There’s not enough research. I really don’t know how exactly all of this works. Who knows if it gets filtered somehow into the vagina. I don’t know if that’s actually a thing. 

We should validate people’s experiences and be like, if that’s happening to you and you feel it that way, let’s explore that. Let’s figure out if that’s an actual thing or not for you. 

Because I think everybody’s bodies are different. Everybody experiences this differently. I just wish the medical field would not be so squeamish about sex. 

Vanessa: 

Yeah, for sure, in all the different kinds of ways we need research. 

So I think for me, the sex acts that I’ve noticed that most cause squirting is when someone’s penetrating me and then they pull out and they slap a dick or dildo on my clit. Or when someone is licking or fingering my clit. So I really agree with you on that clitoral stimulation. 

And then for me, I am a very intellectually driven fucker. So if someone is saying things or is really emotionally connected, sometimes I can even squirt just from barely being touched. It’s just that arousal that leads to it. 

Yeah, because the arousal is the thing, at least in my opinion, that pulls the liquid into the gland which is then expelled. But yeah, again, nobody agrees. 

Vanessa:

So, when you’re at home, what do you use to protect your beds and have a good time while you’re squirting? 

Foxie: 

Yes, I use a puppy blanket. I like animals, I have a cat. That’s cheaper. You can get squirting blankets. You can get all sorts of waterproof things. The things that are marketed towards squirters are way more expensive. Things that are marketed towards people that have incontinence, way cheaper. 

Vanessa: 

That’s the “pink tax”. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, exactly. So you can do that. You can do towels. Lots and lots of towels. Actually, that’s a funny thing. If I start dating someone new, that’s probably the first gift you have from me. 

Vanessa: 

A puppy blanket? 

Foxie: 

A stack of towels. The puppy blanket is a little more expensive. 

Vanessa: 

That’s like three months in. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, exactly. 

Vanessa: 

That’s how you know it’s a real relationship. 

I once went on a threesome hookup with a guy who had never experienced squirting. To his credit, he was really trying to be accommodating and supportive, but he didn’t realize how much I squirt. 

He had a puppy pad, but it wasn’t a puppy blanket. It was like those little tiny blue, almost paper puppy pads. They just got squished up all over our butts. It was ridiculous. I don’t particularly recommend that method, nor did it feel particularly dignified. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, because you can get a big blanket over your entire bed. Now that’s not a perfect method. It’ll still leak. Mattress protectors are also a great thing. If you could get rubber sheets, if that’s something that you want to have sex on, hell, yeah, do that. There’s all sorts of ways to protect. It’s just finding things that are waterproof. 

Vanessa: 

The other thing that sometimes my partner and I will do is like, if we’re about to have sex and we haven’t started thinking about it and didn’t grab that squirt blanket or that puppy blanket and we’re just super in the moment, my partner will just say, “We can just change the sheets.” 

Foxie: 

I would rather have had that amazing sexual experience than avoid the laundry and worry about the bed.

Vanessa: 

I think it helps also, like you’re saying, to have that mattress protected. So if you do have that impromptu sex, you’re still not destroying the mattress. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, I feel like the mattress protector coupled with the squirting blanket, if you will, that that works the best for protecting your mattress. 

Vanessa: 

I also love, I can tell when someone is really into me, after I have squirted and there’s a little bit of leaking from that squirt blanket and we’re going to cuddle together, and they’re like, “Don’t even worry about it, I rather lie in your mess.” 

Foxie: 

Yes. Oh my God. You people will not believe this, but there’s so many people that love to do that. They just love the mess. They love it. It’s just like, oh my God, I did this. I want to keep feeling that, it’s just a reminder of all those wonderful, amazing, passionate feelings that go along with orgasm and squirting and just all the joys of sex. 

I feel really bad for all those researchers that have never felt that. 

Vanessa: 

Yeah, what different research would happen if the people who are researching it had the experience of squirting? 

Foxie: 

Yeah, and in a way that is positive, not negative. Again, if you don’t like the mess, stay away from squirters. There’s not very many of us. 

Vanessa: 

When I meet someone who says no, there’s a 8 billion people at this point in the world, move on to the next one. All good. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, yeah. If I am not for you, I want to know. 

Vanessa: 

Totally. 

I want to end with a love note to all the vulva owners out there who either think that they maybe have experienced the sensation of squirting, but they’re not sure how to do it or if it’s okay to do it. And to the people who do squirt and are trying to figure out how to find people. What would you like to share with folks?

Foxie: 

So, that’s a good question. Don’t go to your doctor. With my research, there was one woman that went to a doctor and she got surgery. The doctor gave her surgery to stop her squirting and I have no idea how that screwed up her entire life. It just blows my mind. 

Vanessa: 

It was treated as a disorder. 

Foxie: 

Yeah, it was treated as something that can just be cut out of you. People take it so far. And they don’t listen to their bodies. Listen to yourself, listen to your body. Find people. I’m a super big presence on FetLife. That’s a good place to go to talk to actual women who do this. I know you said Reddit is a cesspool, but maybe I’ll start something on there. 

Vanessa: 

Yeah, I feel like Reddit is hit or miss. Sometimes there are amazing connections in communities of folks. 

I love that you said “listen to your body”. If squirting is a thing that your body is wanting to do, try it out. It’s okay. Especially if you find people who are emotionally safe. Maybe they haven’t even experienced squirting before, but they’re down to support you because they know that whatever’s happening with your body, especially if it’s pleasure, is something that you can explore together in a positive and healthy, affirming way.

Foxie, thank you so much for sharing your personal experience on this research. And helping us figure out how we can undo the narratives in the medical field and in personal sex life, so that people with all of us can have the very best pleasure in sex. 

Foxie: 

Yes. Why are you having sex if you’re not loving it?

Vanessa: 

Exactly. 

This has been another edition of A Slut’s Guide to Happiness with your host, Vanessa Cliff and our amazing guest, Foxie Roxy. 

You can find us wherever you get your podcasts, including Apple and Spotify, as well as on cliffmediaproductions.com

Please help us out by liking and sharing this podcast, and stay tuned for more deep dives into beautiful, messy waters.

If you’re over the age of 18, you can also check out our video content, including watching some real, authentic, pleasurable orgasms and squirting, on cliffmediaproductions.com

And most of all, listeners and viewers. I invite you to join us in the pleasure of being awkwardly human, naked and without pretense.

Let’s give free.