Speaking your truth can attract some haters – and that’s okay

Writings from Cliff Media, a community-based porn production company.

When you hear that quiet whisper, a recurring thought, idea, value, belief, even a nagging sensation in your gut, don’t doubt yourself. Your truth is power.

That’s the core reason why Cliff Media work is what I know I want to do for life: because we’re not just producing porn based on what we think will sell, we’re producing art based on what we think needs to be said.

Most porn companies I’ve encountered talk about how they select performers and storylines based on what they think will trend well and make good money. We try hard to do the opposite, to avoid making content decisions that follow the money and reproduce existing norms.

For example, I intentionally try to minimize my knowledge of our video views and ratings on PornHub and xHamster. Although Josh and I both edit videos, and Hannah, Adrian and I, and others, manage this website, community organizing and social media sites, Josh is the only one on the team who posts to and monitors PornHub and xHamster. 

I have intentionally created that firewall between the platform management and the development of scene plans because I don’t want us to be subtly influenced by the preferences of platform algorithms or mainstream viewers.

At Cliff Media, we choose what scenes we do based on the ideas of the LGBTQ+, BIPOC and people with disabilities who take turns directing, as well as our organizational core values, like enthusiastic consent, radical inclusion, empowered female and queer sexuality, authentic sex in all its awkwardness and diversity, and collective care.

Although the overwhelming majority of the responses to Cliff Media’s work are loving and positive, that’s certainly not always the case.

  • We’ve received messages and comments across all social media platforms that are transphobic, fatphobic, and racist. Some of these comments we respond to, using them as opportunities for collective education, while some are so intentionally inflammatory that we just ignore or delete.
  • The post-Elon transphobic culture of Twitter means that using the word “cisgender” as a neutral descriptor for performers like myself resulted in being shadow-banned and warned for using “hate speech”.
  • We’ve been kicked out of subreddits for perceived violations (offensive in their assumptions) like including trans women in subreddits about lesbian sex and including fat folks in subreddits meant to feature “cute” people.
  • We’ve also received comments in person and online that say things like “I used to like your content before you started doing ‘that queer stuff’.”
  • On the other end of the spectrum, we’ve received criticism that Cliff Media is not inclusive enough, a reality that I always agree with, while acknowledging that the only possibility is humble growth, not perfection. We regularly remind folks that, in a society where discriminatory junk norms dominate our cultural imagination, inclusion is a journey not a destination. Constructive feedback that imagines solutions and opportunities is far more productive than attempts to tear down or call out.

There is a quote that I have had on my desk for several years now, one that has helped me build resilience and remain committed to our vision regardless of what anyone says. To me, it’s a meaningful perspective for any artist or entrepreneur:

“Don’t pander to the masses. Speak to the people you really want to reach and be honest. And know that if you’re not attracting some haters, you’re probably not doing something significant.”

One Response

  1. This community is materializing every thing I have been looking for. I’m a very sexual person but have always felt like I’ve been in a box. I love your videos more than how much they are a turn on but how much it expresses everyone is beautiful. Everyone has a beautiful body and I want to feel that too. Thank you for what you do!

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